joy

This Is How Your Life Becomes Awesome

No matter what your reality looks like right now, a job you hate, a mean boss, a partner who doesn't see or appreciate you, tons of self-doubt, tons of fear, whatever it is, it doesn't have to remain your reality.


That's right you're not a victim to your circumstances. This took me a long time to realize. It actually was so outside my realm of awareness for most of my life. I just assumed that I had to settle for the life I was dealt and I should just appreciate it and make the best of it. Which ended up making me feel totally unfulfilled, helpless to make any changes in my life, and continuing to search for happiness and contentment outside of myself.


Most of my life, I had been operating from a state of total anxiety, self-doubt, and fear.  I had and anxiety and panic attacks that lead me to have 3 EKG's over several years (I was sure something was wrong with my heart), and at one point a total breakdown. I feared everything. I was afraid people didn't like me. I was afraid I wasn't good enough at my job at anything. I was afraid of airplanes (I didn't fly for 8 years). I afraid of any type of risk, preferring safety and security over happiness and fulfillment. I deeply feared that people would judge me or reject me, so I conformed, I "fit in" rather then honored or explored my own uniqueness and authentic expression of me. Because of my history, I always feared that if people really got to know me then they would find out I was damaged good, I felt so ashamed of my past. Deep down I didn't feel loveable or worthy, so I strived desperately to be accepted by always putting everyone else first, avoiding conflict, and people pleasing up the wazoo, totally losing myself in the process. I was living so small. I was living in the shadows. I was comfortable, but not happy.


And, I didn't know there was another way to live. I didn't know I had the power to change it all. I was fully in victim consciousness.


Then through my process of awakening, I found out that I actually did have the power to change my circumstances. That I was responsible for my reality and I had complete control over how I chose to perceive my life. I had the ability to change my vibration and energy. I had the ability to change my thoughts. Well, that was exciting!  Could it be true?  It was definitely worth exploring and finding out! Yes, Yes, it absolutely does work!  It works amazingly!! My life has changed dramatically in the most amazing ways.  I'm happy to say that I no longer live with any anxiety.  I now love myself so deeply and speak up about my needs, desires, wants, and I am met with support and honor.  My relationship with my husband has totally transformed.  My husband totally transformed, as he saw my growth and expansion and how happy and good I felt, it gave him permission to honor himself and take responsibility for his life.  He is now so happy and our relationship is much deeper, more connected, and feels amazing.  I have attracted in the most amazing, soul-aligned friends, and the friends I already had have become even better.  And, through believing in myself and taking a huge risk I left my job and pursued my passion and purpose in life becoming a coach and supporting women in doing this most amazing and liberating work!  I went from pretty debilitating anxiety, complete lack of self-love and worth, tons of fear to freedom, passion, purpose, joy, confidence, and so much love!!!


And, it all started by taking radical responsibility. Nobody but you has the power to free you. Nobody but you is in your head choosing your perceptions, choosing your thoughts, how you feel, how you act, or the decisions you make.


You are not a victim of your life! Isn't that awesome? I know this because my life completely changed when I took full responsibility for it.


That's the pre-step... realizing that you're not a victim and that you always have a choice of how you're living your life. That doesn't mean that you have complete control over everything that happens, but you do have complete control over how you respond; your perceptions, thoughts, beliefs, emotions, decisions, and actions.


And, you have more control then you may realize about what shows up or doesn't show up in your life. Your vibration attracts to you that which you're a match too. So, if you're vibrating with a ton of fear, self-doubt, anxiety, and lack of self-love then you're going to attract in more experiences that create those same feelings. And, no shame or self-judgment here, it's all good if that's where you are.... this gets to be your beautiful opportunity to learn a new way. It took me 30 years to figure it out! It's never too late and it's so worth it!


So, without further ado.....


Your 3 Steps to Going from Victim to Creator


1. Be Love

I know, I know....that sounds corny, right? Cliché even. But, embodying a vibration of love is so powerful! It's a total game changer. When you start to embody love as your frequency, as your way of being and operating in the world, everything in your world changes. It starts with a deep self love (check out this video to learn a powerful tool to cultivate self-love). And then you can choose to send that love out~~ send love to the boss who is mean, the partner that doesn't see you. Send love to that part of you that feels all that fear and self-doubt, that part of you is really just your inner child crying out for attention, support, and love. Send love out to all of the people, the situations, the events, and the circumstances of your life. Send love to all of it! The more love you feel and the more love you send out the more magnificent and magical your life becomes. Your external world is a reflection of your internal state. Make embodying love your primary state of being and your world will reflect that shift! I am proof that choosing love works, my relationships have shifted in totally surprising and unexpected ways (positively), I've experienced so many synchronicities and awesome magic entering my life because I've chosen to embody and spread the love. And, I just feel so good!


2. Shift Your Focus

Instead of focusing on all that you dislike about your life. Let's take the mean boss for example.... allowing yourself to get stressed out and angry before you even encounter them in the morning. Or, worrying about what other people are thinking of you and playing out in your head over and over again if whether what you had said sounded stupid, did you come off as too much, too opinionated, too different, and you just know they are totally judging you. We tend to way over focus on all our problems, ruminating on all our worries, fears, doubts, etc... which only attracts more of that same energy and experiences into your life. Imagine what would happen if you started to shift your focus? What if you focused on all the areas of your job that you did like (there is always something)? What if you started to spend more time imagining and thinking about the kind of boss you would love to work for? What if instead of berating and judging yourself for whatever you think you may have done wrong you loved yourself instead, you forgave yourself your mistakes, you treated yourself like you would your best friend or your own children? What you focus on grows, so if you choose to shift your focus on all that you have to appreciate about your life, all that you are grateful for, all that you do want (rather then all that you don't), and be and spread love... BOOM! Your life is going to explode in goodness.


3. Get Into The Feeling

How you feel is everything. Most people spend so much of their life unconsciously sitting in feelings of resentment, stress, anxiety, and fear. These feelings underlie all of their decisions, thoughts, actions, and beliefs. And, in moments of joy or gratitude they experience it only briefly before falling back into the baseline state of stress, anxiety, and fear. When you start to intentionally and consciously shift your focus into gratitude, appreciation, joy, love, it's so important to really allow yourself to feel it. Use your breath, use your imagination to expand these feelings of appreciation, joy, and love.  Imagine all that you do desires, see it in your mind's eye with so much detail and really feel what that would be like.  Experience the feelings now as if it's already true.  And, breath it in.  Breath deeply as you intentional expand those amazing feelings, allowing them to fully consume you and radiate out of your body.  Do this for 5-10 minutes a morning right when you wake up and it will completely shift your vibration.  And, then continue to find reasons all throughout your day to feel good, to cultivate appreciation, gratitude, and joy.


There you have it, {{ subscriber.first_name }}! 3 really powerful ways to start creating your life on purpose!  You can have, be, do, and experience anything that you desire.  And, the more you practice these 3 tools of embodying love, shifting your focus, and changing your feeling state, the more awesome your life will become.  It all starts with taking radical responsibility for your life and understanding that you have the ability and power to change it! You're that incredible!


Want to take this a step further??  On Thursday, July 9th, at 7pm pst, I'm hosting a virtual workshop, Create Your Best Life Now!  I'm going to go much deeper, supporting you in getting really clear on where you are, and where you want to go, and how to get there!  It's going to be fun, deep, and inspirational.  Here's the link to learn more and register!


Hope to see you there!


with love,

Shaina


When you're ready here's a few amazing ways to get supported by me and create your best life NOW...

1. Get coached by me through my signature 3 month program, Her Life Reclaimed. Click here to connect and explore what's possible when you choose you and take radical responsibility for creating your best life now and stepping into your next level self!

2. Join the Facebook Group, Woman Rising, for live teachings​, tons of support, and a community of awesome like-minded women.

3. GRAB YOUR COPY OF THE TOP 10 TIPS TO CREATING YOUR BEST LIFE, HERE.

4. Follow me on Instagram for weekly manifestation tips, inspiration, and a whole lotta love!

#1 way to experience more joy

Let me ask you​... when's the last time you really put yourself first?

I mean truly prioritized your happiness, your desires, your needs before everyone else?

And, if you have, were you able to do it without massive guilt?

I struggled with this for most of my adult life.  I felt selfish if I 'asserted' my own needs.  I avoided confrontation at all costs, I was the ultimate people pleaser, and worked to fit in rather then honor myself, all in a desperate attempt to be liked, loved, and accepted.  And, I had a belief (as many of us have been programmed to believe) that to be accepted and to feel loved, I had to bend and flow to the needs and desires of everyone else.

This is the way so many women go through life.  We have been taught to put ourselves last.  To be quiet, meek, selfless, to sacrifice, to put ourselves last.  We live this way until we finally hit a tipping point where we realize we have totally disappeared from our own lives.  That we have morphed, bent, contorted, stretched to be everything for everyone else that we've lost ourselves.

This was where my own spiritual journey began.  One day I looked in the mirror and realized that I didn't even know who I was anymore.  I felt like a shell, a shadow, going through the motions of life, but not really living.  I had pretty debilitating anxiety that seemed to control my life.  I was parenting my young daughter, taking care of my terminally ill mother, working, and managing my household.  I was in a job I hated, but had accepted as 'good enough.'  My marriage was rocky. I felt like I was drowning. I was lost and their was an emptiness inside me.

And, to say the least, there was no joy.

I had no idea what brought me joy.  I was desperately desiring to feel joy, happiness, fulfillment, passion, purpose in my life and I kept looking outside myself to find it.  But, what I quickly learned was to truly find, cultivate, and feel true joy I had to journey back to myself.

True joy comes from within!

To experience real, lasting joy you get to claim space in your own life.  You get to prioritize your own needs, your own desires, your own wants! 

You get to choose you!

You get to reconnect to yourself.  Create and nurture a relationship with yourself. Show yourself that you honor, value, and believe you are worthy of taking up space. 

And, I'll be honest, it can be an uncomfortable process at first.  Whenever you step out of your comfort zone, when you start pushing against the edges of the status quo, when you start to put yourself in the equation of your own life in a way that the people in your life aren't used to, it will likely ruffle some feathers. 

That's okay! Allow the discomfort to be there. It's a necessary step in reclaiming your life.  Then start to get curious.  Start tuning into your own inner knowing, your own intuition, your highest Soul Self and ask, "what do I want? What would make me happy? What lights me up? What would fill me with joy?

Start making your relationship to yourself your top priority. 

Start speaking up about what you want, what you need. And, start intentionally and consciously doing things every single day that fill you up, that make you happy.  Start getting selfish about feeling good!

This is how you begin to create true, lasting joy... by showing yourself you believe in your own worth and love yourself. By choosing you.  By beginning to believe that your happiness, your desires, your wants, your needs, matter just as much as anyone else's. 

And, start to consider your wants, desires, and need every single day and when making any decisions.  Before saying 'yes' to others, ask yourself, "is this honoring and loving to me? Will this bring me joy and feel good to do? Does this feel in alignment to my truth and highest self?"

So, I invite you to start getting curious.  How often are you prioritizing yourself in your life? Pull out your journal and free write on these questions:

1. What would my life look life if I prioritized my own happiness?

2. What would I do differently then I am doing now?

3. How can I bring more joy into my life?

4. What do I really want?

5. What is the little voice inside of me whispering to me? What do I really desire?

6. And, what stories, resistance, or beliefs come up when I start considering prioritizing myself in my life?

Tell me where you are struggling most to take up space in your life.  What stories or resistance come up for you when you think about prioritizing your own happiness?

And, download my free guide, TOP 10 TIPS TO RECLAIM YOUR LIFE to start creating your best life now!

so much love and light to you,

Shaina

Follow me on Instagram or Facebook for weekly manifestation tips, inspiration, and a whole lotta love!

3 Ways to Create More Joy In Your Life

I used to get so frustrated when I heard Influencers talk about the importance of joy.  They would say lean into joy more, be more joyful, do the things that bring you joy. And, at the time, it would drive me crazy because (and I’ll be really honest with you) I had NO idea what brought me joy.  I was so disconnected from myself, disconnected from who I truly was, that I had forgotten what joy was to me.

Life had become about the to-do’s, about my responsibilities.  I had been consumed by my identities as a mother, wife, employee, daughter, caretaker, and manager of life, that I had lost the most important identity, myself.  I had lost my vibrancy and zest for life. I felt a bit overwhelmed by all the adulting that joy was not on the top of my priority list!

And, it’s not to say that I never had fun. My life by no means was terrible or depressing.  My life was pretty good actually, but did I laugh every day? No! Did I spend time intentionally creating space to consider what brought me joy? No! Did I carve out time daily or on a very regular basis to do the things that lit my soul up? No!

I was not taking the time to intentionally connect to joy in my life.  

Hell, I wasn’t taking the time to intentionally connect to myself!

So, if this at all resonates with you and you’re desiring to feel more joy in your life then I got you! 


3 Ways to Create More Joy​​



Make Yourself a Joy List

Create a list of the things that light you up, that bring you to life, that make your spirit sing and commit to doing something on that list every week, or even better every single day! 

Things on my list are: walking on the beach, feeling the sun on my face, singing my heart out in the car (where no one else has to hear me ;)), dancing with my daughter, my morning routine, deep-soul conversations, yoga, hiking, laughing.

Some of these I do every single day and some of these I do as often as I can, but I am intentional about making sure my days always have moments of joy! 


Embrace the Beauty and Magic that is Only You

This one is absolutely essential to create real, lasting joy.  Because real joy truly is an internal state. Real joy is when you 100% love and accept yourself and show up authentically for life. This level of deep joy comes when you finally let go of caring about whatever anyone else thinks of you.  When you finally let your true self be seen. When you love and accept yourself exactly as you are and no longer are trying to “fit in” or mold yourself to someone else’s standards or expectations. This level of self acceptance, deep self-love, and stepping into your truth is where true joy lies.  This is when no matter what the circumstances, no matter what people say about you or to you, no matter what, you still feel a deep sense of joy. It’s a feeling you have that is unrelated to anything external, any outside circumstances. It’s a deep, rich, fullness from within.


Listen to the Whisper of Your Heart

We all have a deep calling in life. Something that we know we’re meant to bring to the world.  It is different for everyone, but we all have a purpose for being on this earth. For me, it’s helping women reclaim their lives and step into their greatness, for others it may be nursing by helping people feel safe and comforted when in distress, it may be painting, it may be motherhood, it may be bringing more laughter into the world through art, it may be underwater basket weaving.  Whatever it is, there is a whisper in your heart calling you forward to step into your fullest potential, step into your purpose.  And, I know from experience that you might not be sure what it is.  I spent so many years trying to “find it,” but now I know it was always there, I just wasn’t ready to listen.  But, when you bravely listen to that whisper of your heart and take bold action to become the person you are meant to become in this life, there is no greater joy.


I am so pumped and excited for you to step into your greatness! Imagine your life and how it will feel when you show up 100% authentically and true to yourself, when you love yourself deeply and know your worth, when you feel your most confident, when you feel in purpose, when you are feeling joy every single day, when you feel fully alive again! 

Are you Ready???

Reach out to me if you’re ready to experience your next level of life and step into your most confident, empowered, joy-filled self!