How I Got Rid of Anxiety For Good

[Exposed Day 8]- 15 years ago I was barely functioning.

I was in my mid-20’s, living in the Bay Area with my boyfriend, partying on the weekends with friends, and appeared to be loving life (aren’t we all so good at pretending all is good), but what so many people didn’t know was I was suffering with severe anxiety.

I mean I regularly waking up in the middle of the night in a full blown panic attack, not flying for 8 years because I was so terrified, constant chest pain, and 3 separate trips to hospitals to get EKG’s because I was sure I was dying and of courses all the tests showed nothing was wrong with me physically.

Anxiety wasn’t new to me at the time, I had had it since I was a kid, and the list above is only a very small example of how it effected my life over the years, but this was the worst it had ever been. If you have suffered from anxiety and panic attacks you know how helpless you can feel.

I had resigned to anxiety just being a part of my life. But, a few years ago, when I started to seriously embark down my spiritual path and the rediscovery of my truest, highest self something amazing happened.

My anxiety disappeared!

It wasn’t my intention to rid myself of anxiety, but it was a byproduct of taking care of myself more deeply.

Standing here at the age of 38, I can say I do not suffer from anxiety anymore. My last panic attack was in those days of my 20’s, I haven’t had chest pain or fear of dying for years, and I fly on planes now whenever without much concern.

Here are the 3 main things I did to get rid of anxiety for good

Daily Meditation

When I started meditating every day it allowed me to clear my mind, better understand the patterns of my thinking, and learn how to stay centered and grounded throughout my day. I became much better at being aware of my thoughts and guiding them in a much more supportive direction before they started spiraling out of control. Even just 10-15 minutes a day was enough to make huge shifts in my life.

Daily Yoga

I’m not overexaggerating when I say yoga changed my life. It has changed my life in so many ways, but to stay focused on the topic at hand it was profound because it was the first time I ever really connected to my body and my breath. On my mat, I focused on full, deep breathing, which calms the nervous system. I also connected deeply with my body in a way that I never had before. So much of my anxiety manifested somatically (in my body) and gaining a greater awareness and a tool that helped me be able to calm and nurture my body was transformative. Even if I only did yoga for 20 minutes a day it made all the difference for setting my body and mind up for success and out of anxiety. And, I could take that connection both to my body and my breath off the mat and into my day.

Cut Out Sugar

I initially chose to cut out sugar to relieve brain fog as I heard it can be a culprit in that, but it not only relieved the brain fog, it also had a great effect on reducing my anxiety. It’s known that the food we put in our body not only effects how we feel physically, but also how we feel emotionally and mentally. I have seen and heard this time and time again, and it was absolutely true for me. I started by reducing all sugar which meant no processed foods, low sugar fruit, no sweeteners, and obviously no desserts of any kind. I did this for about a month to really get the sugar out of my system and to get out of the habit of craving sweets (which luckily for me was never to big). I saw the level of my anxiety reduce pretty quick. After about a month, I slowly started to relax on being really strict on my sugar consumption as I wanted to see how I would feel if I added it back in a bit. Now, I can have sugar occasionally without an increase in anxiety.

I am not saying this is the cure all for everybody or that you shouldn’t see a doctor if your anxiety feels unmanageable, but I wanted to share what has worked for me. The me of 15 or even 10 years ago couldn’t imagine a life without anxiety, but after I started to regularly meditate, do yoga, and consume little sugar it has almost disappeared completely. And, when anxiety does show up now it is in a small way and I have the tools above to help relieve it before it ever gets close to feeling overwhelming and unmanageable.

So, if you are looking for a more natural way of reducing or eliminating anxiety from your life try the above 3 things in ernest and it may be just the thing that helps.

The SECRET to Letting Go of People Pleasing For Good

I am guilty of being a compulsive people pleaser.

For as long as I can remember I avoided confrontation at all cost.

I was so uncomfortable with the idea of people being upset at me. As a little kid when my mom said she was disappointed in me or my behavior I would immediately burst into tears.  

As a teen I refused to burn any bridges even when I continued to be burned (insert toxic friendships and crappy boyfriends).

As an adult the same patterns of lose boundaries and people pleasing continued.  I was a “Yes” girl even when I wanted to say no. I was a “go with the flow” girl even when it didn’t feel good.

There were a few times in the past couple of years that I experienced friends holding healthy boundaries (and not people pleasing) and it was reflected back to me that my annoyance of their unwillingness to compromise was actually just examples of healthy boundaries.  They weren’t being mean, they weren’t disregarding my feelings or needs intentionally, but they were holding healthy and strong personal boundaries for themselves. In the moments that both of those incidents were reflected back to me (very close to each other) it was like an ‘aha’ moment.  My annoyance was only because I had no boundaries and expected other people to be the same.

And what it boils down to is the real reason I was such a people pleaser was because I wanted to be liked.  I was so fearful of what others thought of me, whether or not they liked me, or wanted to be my friend. I wanted to feel validated, important, good enough, and my way of doing that was by making others happy.

People pleasing is exhausting and depleting and never actually made me feel good enough, liked, or important on a deep soul level.  It was a surface level bandaid for a much bigger wound and my soul wasn’t fooled.

But, when these types of patterns have been ingrained in you for most of your life it takes real work, awareness and determination to change them.

Here are 2 Things You MUST Do To Let Go of People Pleasing for Good:

Let Go of Your Need to Be Liked by Everyone

Because here’s the deal you will never be liked by everyone.  And there is no need to be. The energy behind people pleasing only attracts more people into your life that will take advantage of your lose boundaries.  But, when you create healthy boundaries and make your needs just as important as everyone else’s then energetically you are attracting the right people into your life that will support, love, and respect you even when you aren’t bending over backwards for them.  And, funny thing is the people that held really strong boundaries with me I came to really respect because of it. I didn’t dislike them, judge them, or take it personally. I saw them as teachers of a very important lesson. 

Start Loving Yourself Instead

When you love yourself deeply you no longer need approval and acceptance by everyone else. It’s time to create healthy boundaries that honor your needs. Before saying “yes,” ask yourself “is this honoring me? Is this supportive, kind, and respectful to me? Will this fill me up or deplete me and cause resentment?” And secondly, prioritize self-care and self-love practices by creating a powerful daily routine. For ideas on what to include in a daily routine that will make feeling good your new normal and establish a foundation of self love and worthiness check out my free guide, The 1st Step to Manifesting A Life You Love.

Why You Don't Have the Life You Desire and How to Change it

You desperately want to make a change in your life.  You’re feeling stuck. You’re feeling like something is missing.  You are yearning to experience more from life. You are yearning for something that will make you feel alive again.  Maybe it’s a job that lights you up and you’re excited to go to everyday. Maybe it’s connection and belonging and you want to be able to walk into a room feeling so confident and proud of who you are that you show up big, vibrant, and don’t have a care about what anyone thinks of you.  Maybe it’s following a dream, your purpose, that you know if you did, it would completely transform your life.

But, something keeps getting in the way.  Something stops you in your tracks from taking the leap into that big dream, that new career, or stepping further in owning who you are with confidence.  Want to guess what it is…..?

FEAR!  

That’s right, fear is the reason you don’t have the life you desire.  Fear creates paralysis. What if I fail? What if I’m not good enough? What if they judge me? What if they reject me? What if I am totally humiliated? Sound familiar? I know I am not the only one who has heard these gremlins in my head a many a times. We all have that voice in our head that so “lovingly” tries to keep us safe by ensuring us that we are too dumb, too old, too young, too lame, too something terrible to step outside our comfort zone.  To step into the life we most desire.

It’s okay. You’re not alone.  It’s your subconscious’s way of trying to keep you safe. Fear is totally normal AND it doesn’t have to be in control.  I let fear run the show for almost 2 decades. It stopped me from even trying to become a masseuse after going through massage school.  My gremlin told me it was way too dangerous and scary to apply to a job and have to be critiqued by the owner. I would fail. They would reject me and I would have confirmation that I was not good enough.  I really enjoyed massage. I spent 9 months and a good chunk of money becoming certified and fear stopped me from doing anything with that. Fear has stopped me most of my adult life from showing up fully in relationships because what if they saw the real me and knew that I was damaged and didn’t want to be my friend.  I’ve craved connection and belonging my whole adult life and fear has kept me from actually experiencing it because here’s the deal, you have to be brave enough to be seen in order to experience true belonging and connection. My fear of not being good enough kept me separate from the belonging I longed for most of my life.

But, here’s what happens when you don’t let fear take the reins anymore.  After 4 years of being too afraid to listen to the little voice inside of me that was saying I was meant to do more in this world, that I was meant to make a big impact, I finally listened to that voice.  I’d spent 4 years ignoring it because I couldn’t even fathom a possibility where that was a reality for me. I was comfortable in my mediocre admin job, living a mediocre life, and I couldn’t envision myself stepping into myself and my life in such a big way.  But, when I decided to listen to that voice, and not only that, speak what that voice was whispering to me out loud and into the world (even though I was terrified to do so), Boom!! My life changed. In less than a year, my life has become what I didn’t think was possible.  I left that mediocre job, I let go of my side hustles (all but one really small one that I really enjoy), I became a life coach, went through a business program, and am currently seeing a good amount of clients, and being paid for it! And, I have attracted the most amazing women into my life and deepened the relationships I already had. Because I DECIDED to acknowledge the fear, and do it anyways! I had to let go of my fear of judgment, my fear of not being good enough, my fear of failure, and put faith in me, who I wanted to become, and the life I wanted to create for myself.  And, that doesn’t mean that the fear isn’t there anymore, but what it means is that the fear is not in control anymore. I get to choose who’s in the driver’s seat and I always choose me! Every time I come up against another opportunity to expand, to step out of my comfort zone, to grow, I feel the fear and I choose to take action anyways. That’s the beauty of it, you get to choose, you are responsible for the life you want to live and fear does not have to stop you!

This is the path to a Life Reclaimed.  And, I am so excited for my new group program coming out in early 2020, Her Life Reclaimed where I will guide an amazing group of women who are ready to Reclaim Their Life, own their power, step into their truth, feel the most confident they have ever felt, and create a life they love.  It is going to be epic and so much fun!!! 

But, I digress, let me give you these 5 tools you can use when fear comes up so that you can take your power back and have the confidence to move forward toward what you most desire.

Name The Fear

When you are able to name the fear it loses some of its power.  So, notice when it comes up and name it. Is it a fear of failure? Is it a fear of judgment? Is it a fear of not being good enough? Not being worthy enough? Is it a fear of rejection? Awareness is the foundation of any transformational work.  You need to know what’s there because that is what allows you the ability to do the work to transcend it.

Question The Fear

Start to get a better understanding of why the fear is there. Pull out your journal and a pen and ask yourself, when did I first feel this fear? When is the earliest memory I have of feeling this fear? When did I first decide this was true? What stories am I telling myself about myself that keeps me in this place of fear?

Release and Reprogram

Once you are able to name the fear and identify some it’s origins it’s time to release and reprogram.  I work with my clients using EFT and Matrix Reimprinting to get to the core of the subconscious belief so we can release the emotional trauma and energy and reimprint a new empowering belief in its place.  This work is deep and transformational, it creates shifts at a fundamental, subconscious level that allows them to step into a newer more empowered version of themselves that no longer is bound by their fear and limiting beliefs.  So, whether you work with me, another coach, or have your own tools and modalities, you will want to release and reprogram the fear and limiting beliefs underneath them. If you are interested in learning more about how to work with me to release and reprogram using EFT and Matrix Reimprinting just comment below.

Take Empowered Action

The biggest antidote to fear is action.  Fear can keep you stuck in your tracks forever, but all it takes is one small step forward and then another and another to move through fear and gain confidence.  You see, once we start to take action we immediately feel proud, empowered, and more confident. You proved to yourself that you can do it AND you didn’t die! And, everytime you feel the fear and take action anyway you build up more and more evidence that you can continue to look back on that proves that you have done it before, you survived and actually felt empowered and more confident on the other side. And, here are a few questions you can ask yourself that can help you move into action. Who am I without this fear? What choices would I make if the fear wasn’t there? What would my life look like without this fear? What will I lose if I let this fear stop me from moving forward? These are incredibly powerful questions to help you identify with a version of yourself that is beyond the fear so that you can take action from that place. 

The “What If” Game

This is a super fun and playful game that takes your fear and flips the script.  So, if your about to walk into a room and you’re feeling nervous and not sure what you are going to say (anyone really uncomfortable with small talk!) and you’re thinking, “what if they judge me? What if I don’t know what to say?” with the “What If” game you just flip the script and build yourself up, and instead you think to yourself, “what if I walk in and have the best time ever. What if I make conversation really easily and everyone loves me.  What if I didn’t worry about what or who I talk to, but just go have fun. What if I show up completely, 100% my authentic self and don’t give an F what anyone thinks and just has a great time!” You can go on and on. See, how fun it is. Get creative, be your biggest cheerleader and turn your negative, fear based “what ifs” into your most empowered, confidence producing, fun, and playful “what ifs.” Go ahead and try this the next time you find yourself feeling the fear and wanting to get small and not take action, play the what if game and then take empowered action!

So, I hope my story and these tools have inspired you to take your power back and not let fear have the reigns in your life.  You deserve to live a life you love and be the most empowered, confident, and joyful version of yourself. And, let me tell you so much of creating that life and that version of you comes on the other side of your fear.  These are a few of the tools I use with my clients to help them Reclaim Their Lives, if you are ready or interested in learning more about coaching with me you can comment below. I would love to chat. I only have 2 spots open in January and I would be so honored to walk alongside you as you journey the path of your Life Reclaimed!

So much love,

Shaina

Ways to Stay Connected~

Follow me on Instagram for weekly manifestation tips, inspiration, and a whole lotta love!

Download you FREE guide, The 1st Step to Manifesting A Life You Love. Make feeling good your new normal!

5 Ways to Shift Your Relationship Patterns and Call in Your Tribe

I spent so many years afraid to let my real self be seen, in fact so much so, that I ended up not even knowing who the real me was anymore. I had dimmed myself, my light to the point where I didn’t even recognize myself. I desperately craved belonging and connection, but I was so afraid that if I showed up as the real me, I would be judged and rejected. And, that fear and anxiety kept me so guarded and so small that I was creating a barrier from what I truly longed for.

We have all experienced that, right? Tell me I’m not the only one! ;)

What I didn’t realize at the time was that my deep core belief of not being good enough, not loving myself and the “real” me, thinking I needed to be someone else to fit in, not allowing myself to be vulnerable and open was blocking what I truly desired which was deep, soul level connection. And, it was attracting the exact type of relationships that would reinforce my fear of rejection and judgment. I’ve had some years of friendship issues! And, it took some time for me to realize that if the same patterns of friends kept coming into my life that ended with me feeling hurt, rejected, not good enough, and overall shitty then this was more about me and what I was attracting. What parts of me continued to reinforce this pattern? What beliefs, wounds, stories did I need to heal and change to allow in friendships that fed my soul, women that truly understood me? That I felt comfortable enough to let them see the real me!

And, here is what it came down to...self love and owning who I am!

Here are 5 ways to shift your relationship patterns and call in the women who are your soul sisters ~ Your Tribe!

Get Real With Yourself

Do some deep digging. Grab your journal and a pen and ask yourself why this pattern keeps happening? What beliefs do you have that are keeping you from attracting your soul sisters? What old wounds need to be healed (Hello, 6th grade total friend group rejection and me all alone at 6th grade camp)? What old stories are you ready to let go of? It’s amazing how events from our past that we may not have thought about for a long time still play a huge roll in how we experience life now. Write down all the times in your life that this pattern has shown up and what it has caused you to believe about yourself and friendship.

Tap That Stuff Out

Once you have identified the old beliefs, wounds, and stories that are creating this pattern to continue to show up in your life start doing some tapping (EFT). Release the old stuck emotional energy so that you can move on.

Decide That From Now On It’s Going to Be Different and Ask For Help

I don’t know about you, but it got to a point where I just decided enough is enough. I was tired of this same pattern showing up. I was tired of feeling shitty in relationships and continuing to attract people into my life that reinforced my feelings of shittiness. It got to a point where I decided, I am done. I am done with this dynamic. I am ready for a shift. I am ready to call in the women, my soul tribe, my soul sisters, who are going to love and support me, who are going to understand me, who I am going to be able to connect with on a deep level. And, once I made that decision I asked for help, “Please Universe, help me to heal these old wounds and old patterns of connecting. Help me to release the people who do not make me feel good and draw in more people that do. Help me shift this. I am so ready! Show me the way! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

When I did this the universe showed up right away! I got signs, I got resources, the relationship I was most struggling with at that time I gained more clarity and understanding, and the relationship began to heal. Don’t rely only on yourself. The universe wants to support you, all you have to do it ask and be ready! I was SO ready!

Stop Caring About What other People Think

Girl, I am still working on this, but it is a must if you are going to find your tribe. You gotta be 100% you. Let your freak flag fly and let go of what anyone else thinks about it. Because here’s the deal, the people who judge you or don’t get you AREN’T YOUR PEOPLE. Let them go. Stop trying to fit into a mold, to a circle of friends, that aren’t your tribe. As soon as you start to accept, love, and show up in life as your true self, the real you, your people will find you. And, that brings me to my last point…

You Gotta Be Vulnerable

This was the hardest one for me, but it’s essential. True connection comes from vulnerability. From allowing people to see the real you, all parts of you. As Brene Brown says, “In order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen.” From someone who has been burned so many times being vulnerable in relationship was really hard. I was super good at showing up for other people. I could listen, hold space, see and hear them fully, but not the other way around. No thank you! But, it had been brought to my attention on more than one occasion that I don’t let people in. And, guess what, if you don’t let people in, if they don’t get to see and experience the real you, the vulnerable you, there is no true connection. So, that doesn’t mean go let it all hangout to everyone, but you’ll know the people who are deserving of your vulnerability. Your soul sisters. Your Tribe.

So, there you have it my friends. The path to true connection and belonging. Get clear on what is keeping you from experiencing it. Do the work to release it. Decide that from this point forward you are DONE with this pattern. You are moving into a different version of yourself and your life where only healthy, loving, deep connection is happening. Then let yourself be you! If you are all about fairies, and the moon, and magic then start talking about it! Let go of your fear of being judged or people not getting you. It was so incredibly liberating when I owned who I really was, what I was into, and stopped hiding the parts of myself that I was afraid people wouldn’t get. The people who didn’t get it weren’t my people! Then allow yourself to be vulnerable. Which really goes hand in hand with letting your true self be seen. It is vulnerable to show up fully and authentically, but you know what, it’s the only way to live. It’s the only way to connect deeply and find your tribe. And lastly, love yourself through it. Be kind to yourself, be compassionate to yourself, be forgiving to yourself. Treat yourself like you would treat one of your soul sisters.

You are worthy of deep connection and belonging! So go do the work and make it happen! I can tell you since doing this work I have experienced more and more women coming into my life that are on the same path as me. That I can talk openly about my spiritual journey, my beliefs, my life and they get me. It feels amazing! It is my deep desire that you too can rid your life of old relationship patterns that don't serve you and attract in your soul sisters, your tribe of women who will understand, love, and support you unconditionally. You deserve it!

So much love and light,

Shaina

p.s. Have you checked out my #manifestationmonday tip videos, yet? Each week I share short (under 10 minute) videos to help you become a powerful manifester and divine creator of your life. Watch this weeks tip here.

Ways to Stay Connected~

Follow me on Instagram for weekly manifestation tips, inspiration, and a whole lotta love!

Download you FREE guide, The 1st Step to Manifesting A Life You Love. Make feeling good your new normal!

3 Steps to Finding Your Soul’s Purpose (plus an exercise to connect to your intuition)

If you’re anything like me you have spent years searching for your soul’s purpose. You have agonized about your purpose. You have been envious of your friends who seem to have discovered it in infancy.

You get excited about something and go all in, gung-ho, for about 5 minutes (okay, a week or two), only to realize you actually don’t like it all that much.

You are embarrassed that you have tried so many things and nothing has been it.

You want to figure it out so bad and worry that you are never going to find it.

I so get it! I spent a good part of the last decade in this cycle of searching, thinking I found it, only to be disappointed that, nope, yet again, it’s not my heart’s passion. I went from job to job, idea to idea, hoping that it would feel meaningful enough, but it never did. I worked with teens, toddlers, homeless, and autistic adults, I taught yoga, and dabbled in massage. And, that is only what I actually tried...the list of ideas could go on and on. I felt desperate to find more meaning for my life, to find my thing, my purpose, the reason I came onto this planet. And, I do truly believe that all of these different ventures were ultimately leading me down the path to where I was meant to be. It’s all a journey, right! But, I also believe I could have found it faster and with a lot less anxiety and stress if I had trusted more that my purpose ultimately would find me if I opened up and allowed it to come. So, keep on a readin’ if you are really wanting to know your soul’s purpose, why you are here, and want to open up to it in a way that feels good.

3 Steps to Finding Your Soul’s Purpose

STOP LOOKING….

Say what? Yep, that’s right. Stop looking. The energy of looking, searching, trying to figure it out is low, desperate, and anxious. From my own experience, underlying was a deep fear that I would never know. That somehow I was just missing out on that clarity that seems to come so easily to some. I worried that I would always be wondering, wandering, on a search to discover. I mean we all want to know why we are here. We all feel a call to live a life of meaning, purpose, and fulfillment, but when we are in an energy of fear, worry, desperation to find it, we are only keeping ourselves separate from it. So stop looking and start trusting. Start trusting that if you stay in an energy of openness, exploring things that you enjoy, that light you up, and feel good then you are on the right path for it to come to you.

TUNE INTO YOUR SOUL...

What is that little voice inside of you saying? I bet you already know. Our intuition and highest self already knows. Get out of your head and into your heart. Start paying attention to the voice of your intuition, your own inner guide. What is it saying to you? What is that little niggle of an idea that keeps whispering to you. If you start tuning in more, I bet you will discover it has been inside of you all along. But, sometimes that little voice can be so far out, can be whispering to you something that seems too far out of reach, that seems unfathomable in your present reality so you have been ignoring it. Trust me I know, I spent 4 years ignoring my inner voice because I could not see a reality in which that possibility could come true. I continued to push it aside, ignore it, staying stuck in a job that was killing my soul, but it checked all the boxes; paid well, was incredibly flexible with my family needs, was part-time, was five minutes from my house. What more could I ask for?? Oh right, something that actually lit me up, made me come alive, feel excited, free, joy, purpose. None of those boxes were checked. And, let me tell you that those boxes are the most important boxes to be checked! So, what do you need to do to trust that little voice and open up to a new possibility even if it feels really far outside your current reality….

SUSPEND YOUR DOUBT AND JUMP INTO THE UNKNOWN….

That’s right, girl… you gotta get outside your comfort zone, stretch outside your box of safety and security, and trust that when you jump into the unknown of possibility and follow the path that your soul is leading you on, you will succeed. You will thrive! Take it from me, I spent 4 years stuck in my little bubble of mediocrity because I held an iron grip on my need to feel secure and stable. For 4 years, I didn’t let myself even consider the musings of my inner voice, my soul. It felt so so far outside of what was possible for me. So far outside of a reality that I could even imagine. I rationalized that I had a good job (even though I felt like my soul died a little bit more every day that I went), it helped pay the bills, there was no way I could give that up, my family needed my income, my husband would never be okay with me taking a big risk and losing my financial contribution to the family. The excuses went on and on and they were only the surface level. Even deeper I told myself, who do you think you are to dream so big, you can’t do that, you don’t know how to do that, you’ll fail just like you have with everything else you tried, you’re not good enough. That list goes on and on too!

But, here’s the amazing part! One day, I just decided to throw all my excuses out the window and listen to my inner voice. Which was saying, “you are meant to do something bigger in the world. You have a message to share. You are meant to make a huge impact.” And, even though I didn’t know the specifics, the how, the anything of what that meant, I decided to listen. That day I decided to bring that little voice out into light and see what happens. And, oh my god, with that decision my whole life changed. The reality that I could not fathom ever being possible came true. My family and friends completely supported me and from there I just opened up to receiving more and more information on what my soul was ready to do, how I could be of service, how I could make an impact.

I didn’t go searching, but I allowed it to find me, I opened up to all possibilities. And, that is when life coaching honestly fell into my life. And, the funny thing was I had been exposed to life coaches for all those years, but I hadn’t been open to seeing it as a reality for me, so I didn’t really see it. Only when I became open, let go of my own limitations and doubts, and stepped into the unknown did I finally see what had been in front of me for years.

When you’re ready, your purpose will present itself to you. So, let go of your need to find it, tune into your soul, your inner voice that already has all the answers, and allow yourself to step out of the confines or your current reality so that you can dream even bigger, so you can open up to a possibility so much greater then you can imagine now.

HERE'S AN EXERCISE TO CONNECT TO YOUR INNER VOICE

1. Meditate- sit quietly, close your eyes, and connect to your breath. After a few minutes connecting to your breath, ask for guidance, “Dear Universe, please allow me to connect to my intuition, my highest self, and your divine guidance so that I can truly know my soul’s purpose. Please reveal to me what I am meant to do in this life. I am open to receive this message now.”

2. Have your journal and a pen close to you and start writing down whatever guidance comes through into your journal. Allow it to be a stream of consciousness as you write whatever comes to you. Don’t think about it, don’t analyze it, or edit it, just write whatever comes through. This is your soul speaking to you.

3. And, if it doesn’t come through right away that’s okay. Just keep doing this everyday. Keep opening yourself up to hear and connect to your own inner voice, and with practice that voice will go from a tiny little whisper to a strong, loud, and empowered voice.

with so much love,

Shaina

p.s. I have an exciting, new FREE offer that will support you in shifting 7 of the biggest blocks to your freedom. Tapping into Freedom, is a FREE 7-day tapping journey to radical self-love, acceptance, confidence, and your freedom.

CLICK HERE NOW TO SIGN UP now and receive 7 pre-recorded videos right to your inbox!

Ways to Stay Connected~

Follow me on Instagram for weekly manifestation tips, inspiration, and a whole lotta love!

Download you FREE guide, The 1st Step to Manifesting A Life You Love. Make feeling good your new normal!

You Can't Become What You Want By Remaining What You Are

How many times have you found that you really want to attract something into your life and it just isn’t happening?

You feel like you are doing all the right things- affirmations, positive thoughts, visualizations, doing your best to feel as good as you can, but you aren’t seeing any results for your efforts.

I came across this quote recently that really sums up the issue, 

“we can’t become what we want by remaining what we are.”

The problem is that underneath all your positive intentions and efforts you still have underlying, subconscious stories, beliefs, and programming that are keeping you from truly being in alignment with what you desire to attract into your life.

By the time we are in our mid-life, we are basically living on auto-pilot. Our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and behaviors have become completely habitual, they have become subconsciously programmed within us.  And, this programming is based on old stories, memories, and experiences which affect the decisions you make and how you see and interact with the world. 

So, you have to transcend your old ways of being, thinking, acting, feeling in order to have a new experience.  You can’t be the same person you are now, running the same stories and habitual ways of being and expect something new to happen.

Like the old saying goes, “ you can’t do the same things over and over again and expect a different result.  That’s the definition of insanity.”

I was thinking about how these old stories have been playing out and affecting my life and a story that has been on repeat for the last 20 years of my life has been “I’m not smart enough.” I have been telling myself this same story since I was a teenager and in fact this story is what kept me from going to college for 8 years, it has kept me quiet in social situations for fear that I would say the wrong thing or sound stupid, it has stopped me from speaking out at work and sharing my ideas because why would I think my ideas were better or worth hearing compared to all those other smarter people in the room. 

And, what’s interesting is that in my mid-20’s I did end up going to college and I got a 4.0 the whole way through and STILL my story story didn’t change. That story of ‘I’m not smart enough’ was so ingrained in my subconscious that I couldn’t see any evidence to the contrary even when it was right in front of my face.  

That’s the way our brains work. It will look for evidence in our environment that supports our stories~ the programs that have been running our lives. So, graduating from college with a 4.0 was completely overlooked because it didn’t support my story, but every time I fumbled over my words, didn’t know what to say, or didn’t have the right answer, my subconscious sure did notice that. It’s noticed it because it reconfirmed and supported the story I held so deeply. 

Marianne Williamson says, “the stories we tell ourselves are the experiences we live.”

The stories we tell ourselves are the experiences we live because our brain will continue to find evidence to prove that story true. So, our reality becomes the playbook of these stories.  Whether the story you are telling yourself is that no one supports you, there are no good men left, you are just unlucky, bad stuff always happens to you, you’re not important, that will be your experience because you are viewing the world through that lens. 

I had a real ‘a-ha’ moment when I started on this entrepreneurial journey and became a spiritual mindset coach.  I knew that there was no way I was going to be successful if I held onto this old, worn out story about myself. I couldn’t remain the version of myself who believed I wasn’t smart enough. 

You see, if your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs are not in alignment then what you desire will not come to fruition. Your subconscious beliefs are stronger than your thoughts, they are more ingrained, they will override all the good intentioned thoughts you have in relation to your desires. 

I knew that I had to decide to be a new version of myself. I had to change the story and live into an updated, expanded version of me that truly believed I was smart enough. And, when I did “boom” I gained more and more momentum in my business, I attracted the right clients and those clients were getting amazing results.  The more and more I experienced these things that supported my new story that I am smart enough, the stronger the belief became. 

When I chose to become the woman who believed I was smart enough and believed in my success, and did the deep work to let go of the old story and flip the script to this new story, my whole reality shifted to support that new belief. I now view the world from this updated, more empowered version of me and the world responds in turn.

Amazing!

But, it all starts with you. You have to uncover the stories and you have to decide to flip the script.  You have to decide to become an updated, more empowered, more self-loving version of yourself. And, then you have to do the work.

So, here are my questions to you and I would love to hear your answers. You can reply back to this email.

1. What stories are you telling yourself about yourself that are keeping you stuck?

2. What stories are you ready to break up with?

3. What’s going to be your new story? 

4. Who’s the new, expanded version of yourself going to be? 

5. Who are you ready to become so that you can attract in all that you desire? Declare it now!

This is such a powerful exercise to gain awareness on the subconscious blocks you have so that you can make lasting and massive shifts in your life. Take your power back, live your truth, and create a life you love. 

And, I would love to support you in this journey!  If you are interested in learning more about working with me 1 on 1 reply to this email.  I can’t wait to hear from you!

Tapping Video for Self-Doubt

Self-doubt is something we all experience especially when we are desiring to put ourselves out there in a new way or take a risk. Maybe you are wanting to ask for a promotion at work, maybe you want to venture into a whole new career, or maybe you just want to say hi to that mom you keep seeing at the park, and then you hear that voice (you know that voice)...

what if my boss says “no”, what if I fail, what if she doesn’t like me?

What if I try and I’m just not good enough.

Right at the core of it is the fear, “I’m not good enough.” You are not alone in these feelings.

If you are struggling with self-doubt in your life then this video is for you.

What Does Self-Love Really Mean and Why it Matters?

You have heard me talk about the importance of self-love a lot.  But, what does it really mean? Well, let me break it down for ya.

Self-love is the foundation of feeling good.  

Feeling good is the foundation of attracting into your life what you desire, be it relationships, career, friendships, money, love, everything. 

Self-love is how you get into the energy of your highest self, and your energy is everything!

But, what does it mean! How do I cultivate it?

Self-love means you believe in your own worthiness.

Self-Love means you believe you deserve all that you desire.

Self-Love means you believe you are good enough.

Self-love means you give yourself permission to put yourself first.

Self-love means you can look into your own eyes and feel good and loving towards who you are looking at.

Self-love means you treat your body well by exercising, eating well, and sleeping enough.

Self-love means you prioritize things that make you feel happy and joyful, that light up your soul.

Self-love means you don’t sacrifice your own needs and desires for the sake of everyone else’s.

Self-love means you let go of people pleasing and take care of you.

Self-love means carving out time every day to do the practices that keep you aligned with your highest self and in your truth.

Self-love means you aren’t afraid to be who you really are and let your real self be seen.

Self-love means you take the risks even when you are afraid to do whatever it is that fills your soul with purpose.

Self-love means you don’t shrink yourself down to make others feel more comfortable.

Self-loves means you own who you are with confidence and power.

Self-love means you have fully stepped into who you really are and let your light shine bright.

Self-love isn’t a concept, but a daily practice to get closer and closer to your truth and feeling proud, confident, whole, joyful, empowered, and loving in who you really are.  

And, when you fully embody who you are and love yourself deeply, your energy soars. You become a beacon of light and love in the world, you impact all the energy around you and people you connect with will start to rise as well.  Life begins to flow beautifully and things fall into place as they should.

This is how you create a life you love. You focus on you. You focus on loving yourself deeply and getting selfish about feeling good. You focus on stepping fully into your truth.  Then life flows as you want it to with ease and grace. Your relationships improve. Your find you have more time than you thought you had to incorporate into your life the things you love. You start connecting more deeply to your partner, your kids, your friends.  

You have started a vortex, a momentum of love and feeling good that just keeps getting bigger and stronger, and bringing into your life more things that support that beautiful loving vibration. 

Sounds good, right?

It is good!  It is amazing! 

I know from experience because I went from only a few years ago feeling totally lost, overwhelmed, overshadowed, and like something was really missing to now living in my purpose, deeply connected to my husband in a much bigger way then I have ever felt before, surrounded by soul sisters that I longed to have for most of my life (that just floated in so effortlessly), and truly feeling so much love, joy, gratitude, and contentment every single day.

What shifted my life so dramatically was finally giving myself permission to let go of the guilt and put my needs and desires on the table, a HUGE act of self-love. I have then committed to practices that cultivate self-love, worthiness, and connecting to my highest self every single day.

It is work. It takes dedication, but it is SO worth it.  I am a different person today then I was 4 years ago and this can be true for you too.  If you are desiring a different life for yourself, one where you matter, one where you feel a deep sense of joy and love every single day, one where you cultivate a sacred relationship with yourself that massively benefits all of your other relationships as well, one where you get to create the life you love rather then feel like life is living you, then...

Let’s connect.  I would be so honored to support you on your journey to rediscovering your true self, to releasing the limiting beliefs and fears that are keeping you from thriving in all areas of your life, and to see you going from lost, stressed, and overwhelmed to confident, present, vibrant, and ABSOLUTELY in love with your life.

Why “I'm fine” doesn't really work

My friend and I were recently talking about our tendency to acknowledge when things feel hard, but to gloss over them.  To use our natural optimistic, glass half-full attitude to focus on the good things, the things we are grateful for as a way to feel better. She said she has known this stuff was lurking within her, but she is a positive person and wanted to keep her head up and focus on all the good stuff she had going for her.  She thought acknowledging it was there was enough. “Yeah, things are hard, but I’m fine.” We all do that, right? I’m fine, It’s fine. Look at all the the things I have to be grateful for, I don’t need to dwell on these hard things. I’m fine. Well, she discovered, as we all have, that glossing over the “hard stuff” and focusing on the good doesn’t make those feelings go away.  They just linger in the background. This little cloud falling you around. Which means that the good stuff, the things we are grateful for and that make us happy will always have that little cloud falling them around creating a darkness over even the stuff that lights us up. If we don’t take the time to not just acknowledge the feelings, but actually allow ourselves to feel and explore them they will continue to haunt us. We need to get curious.

Why do I feel so upset?  What feels so hard? Why do I think I am feeling this way?  Why did that circumstance impact me so deeply? What can I learn from this?

I understand the fear that if you start to pry it open a bit, if you start to get curious, the floodgates will open wide up and swallow you whole.  That had been my fear for a long time. I had been living on “I’m fine” for so long, but knowing that there was a lot of things lurking below the surface that felt so heavy.  If I start to check those things out, if I start to feel what I have been pushing down and away for so long, will it consume me completely? I know I spent years trying not to acknowledge the pain of my experiences because I thought if I let myself go there it may be so big I will get lost in it.  But, I have come to realize that by avoiding it it still consumes us, but in more subtle and covert ways. The pain won’t go away until we address it.

What we resist persists!

We need to acknowledge the difficulties, we need to make space to feel whatever is really there in that moment, but not get so caught up in it that we spiral down and get stuck in the mucky darkness. That’s why it is important to not go at it all alone, whether that be a therapist, a coach, or a friend you can trust. They can help you navigate the darker waters, holding your hand and making sure you don’t fall so deeply in that you aren’t able to come back out.

And, trust me, although it is scary, we can’t stay in the “I’m fine” mode forever. Whether or not you want it, the feelings will eventually come to the surface. And, they will continue to be a cloud looming over all your experiences until you do finally decide to shine a light into the dark recesses of your soul.

Through my experience I have found that by letting myself be in the discomfort with an open heart and really allowing whatever is there to be there, I have come out the other end feeling stronger, more empowered, and wiser.  I have shed light on my darkness. I now have a better understanding of how I got to be where I am. I have a better understanding of I why I lost faith in my worthiness, my deservedness for all that I desire. How my past has shaped the way I think and live my life now.  How our culture, our family, the media influence and program us to “be” a certain way. It is liberating when we shed light on all of this because then we get to make more conscious, intentional choices. Once we explore the darkness and become aware of our limiting core beliefs and how they manifested, we take back control.  We can make positive shifts, we can choose to see things differently now that we have more understanding of our patterns and subconscious blocks.

We get our power back! Now, that is something to be grateful for!